It's ok to NOT be ok
/It's ok
to NOT
be OK.
You don't have to find the silver lining. You don't need to "be positive". You don't have to pretend everything is fine, if you're not.
You will encounter waves of feelings. They will crash over you and your loved ones.
Sometimes, you'll get splashed. Other times you'll be drenched. Again. And again. And again. With no space between.
It's ok
not to be ok
all the time.
Yoga and Buddhism teach us, remind us: this too shall pass.
But,
The caveat is that you have to somehow...
figure out against all odds...
how to
be with it
and be in it.
It's hard. It's really hard. But you can do it.
It's what you've been practicing. It's what yoga has been teaching you all this time.
Keep doing what you can do.
Don't worry about the rest. Don't worry about what others (seem) to be doing.
Sometimes the best thing is to stay in your pajamas all day. Cry into fear and grief. Shout out frustration. Furiously dance your anger. Feel the feels as they come.
Chances are, you'll feel less "not ok" after doing these things in the moment.
Maybe, just maybe, you'll be closer to ok; you'll gain a pause until the next wave comes. Here is where I find my practice offers value: It gives me the space to pause.
It's ok if you aren't practicing yoga right now. Give yourself permission to do anything that helps you find the pause.
Try This Right Now
Set a timer for 5 minutes.
Lay on the floor on your back. Do not use a yoga mat. (add padding if you need it for comfort)
Roll around on the floor until your timer goes off.
Move in any way that you FEEL compelled to move. Roll on your side, your belly, slide across the floor. Stand, sit, etc. Do anything. Use a lot of space. Don't worry about being symmetrical or counting reps. Breathe. Move. Pause. Sigh. Whisper. Shout...
Feel all your feels.
Then Do This
Find a pen and paper.
Sit down for 5 minutes (set a timer).
Write stream of consciousness for five minutes. Keep your pen on paper continuously for the full 5 minutes. It doesn't matter what the spelling is. It doesn't matter what you write. You could write the same thing over and over again. Draw pictures. etc.
Keep going until the timer rings.
What's it like now?
Pause seated or lying down. Rest one hand on your heart. Ask yourself:
What do I feel?
What is obvious?
What is subtle?
